Today I received my first-ever dental implant. See the photo. It’s #14, top left (your right) second from last molar.

Got it? Okay. So, it didn’t hurt, except when the surgeon numbed the site. What did hurt was four months ago when the tooth that used to occupy that slot was extracted, and whoo boy, that hurt a lot. It doesn’t even hurt right now, five hours later. We’ll see how that holds up tomorrow.

I won’t go into details about the procedure, except to say the ratchet wrench was kind of a surprise. The bill was not a surprise. They x-rayed my wallet ahead of time to make sure I could pay it.

My credit card still hasn’t gotten over it.

Are you tired of the same-old same-old escapist fiction you've been reading? Try John Dyer Writes, the cure for what ails you.

Seriously, buy my novels, they're great. Or at least, read my essays. They're great, too.