Month: September 2021

Played out — John Dyer Writes

Earlier this year, I submitted my first-ever attempt at writing a screenplay to a smallish indie filmmaker, arranged through a service provided by Stage32. A producer had issued a call for coming-of-age stories, and my novel Silken Thread kind of fits. In 1960s Manila, an American teenager courts a CIA officer several years his senior. Novel here, screenplay here, if you’re curious.

Spoiler alert — I was not offered a movie deal.

I was told I’d written a novel but not a screenplay. Also …

  • The story is missing the exciting parts of the protagonist’s life until the last 20 pages (during which the hero almost dies).
  • The narrative structure should adhere to the three-act form.
  • The author should pay attention to story beats.
  • There’s not enough drama.
  • The author should ask the question, “Why would anyone want to watch this?”
  • The hero David Aarens is a person who never says ‘no’ to the challenges in his life.
  • The document layout does not “look like a professional screenplay” and I should use Final Draft as an authoring tool.
Continue reading “Played out — John Dyer Writes” →
2

Screenplayed

I just finished a screen adaptation of my novel Silken Thread. 20,561 words, 118 pages.

Logline – In 1967 Manila, a Chinese-speaking Dutch-American teenager courts a CIA officer ten years his senior.

Here’s another sample.

The morning after.

23. INT. AARENS RESIDENCE FORBES PARK

The next morning. David sets a two-suit travel bag by the front door; he’s apprehended by Mrs. Li.

MRS. LI

Hushed voice; speaks <Mandarin>.

<Where you going so early?>

DAVID

<I’m meeting someone before work. Are my parents up?>

MRS. LI

She pinches him on the ear.

<There’s a girl, and don’t tell me there isn’t.>

DAVID

Clasps her hand in both of his.

<Maybe she lost interest already. I have to find out.>

MRS. LI

<Da Wei; she will break your heart, and so will the people who give you this job. Just like in China; this is how you have a refugee living in your house.>

DAVID

<Ma Li; their broken promises gave me you.>

MRS. LI

<Oh, you going that way, are you? You better not forget who raise you when I get too old to take care of myself.>

Kisses David on the cheek.

<Make sure she love you, then bring around to meet me.>

0

Screenplaying

A call for coming-of-age submissions on Stage32 motivated me to at least start on a screen adaptation of my novel Silken Thread. Here’s a trial opening scene formatted in a style emulating James Cameron’s script for the movie Aliens.

Fade In:

  • 1. INT. BREAKFAST IN THE AARENS HOME

Forbes Park subdivision, Metro Manila, July 1967. A spacious living/dining area with Danish Modern and Asian furnishings, high ceilings opening onto a lanai and garden. We meet a Dutch/American family of 3 served by a middle-aged Chinese woman. The teenage son arrives late, sits at the table.

DAVID AARENS

“Mom, Pop, Lao Ma.”

David addresses Mrs. Li in <Mandarin>.

<How are you this morning?>

MRS. LI

<Your father heard you come in late.>

She rolls eyes, pours tea.

DAVID

<Ouch. I thought I was being quiet.>

Continue reading “Screenplaying” →
0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: