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My Dinner with ChatGPT
Prompt
Create image for chapter illustration. Carmen and Marie having a heart to heart talk in the galley section of a motor-home-size spaceship.
Reference Images
ChatGPT said:
You said:
can you make the ladies seem more cheerful
ChatGPT said:
You said:
that's too cheerful. try to strike a balance
ChatGPT said:
Close enough! Read the chapter here!
The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof
Following a series of chats with three artificial intelligence engines on the topic of whether my current novel-in-progress is worth reading, I asked where the hook is — a reasonable question at this juncture because …
- All three robots are saying Maroli Tango is one heck of a well-written story; however,
- The book is doing poorly in terms of reader retention on Wattpad and Substack.
On one hand, it’s too early to draw conclusions — the serial novel experiment has not attracted enough readers for statistical evaluation. On the other hand, I want readers to keep reading, right now.
Anyway, I had been feeding chapters to ChatGPT, ClaudeAI, and Grok for two weeks. Yesterday I asked, “Where’s the hook”, and all three said “Chapter 97”.
It’s not a disaster — I can move 97-100 to the beginning of the book and rope-a-dope the reader with a “Two months earlier …” gimmick. It’s legit. Famous authors do it all the time.
But just to be sure, I uploaded the entire manuscript and asked the question again.
NOW, ChatGPT and ClaudeAI say the book is perfect the way it is. Grok, however, is sticking to its guns.
If you don’t mind, vote now! See Chapter 1 + on Substack here.
Chapter 97 follows.Continue reading “The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof”
On Ziva Lake
From Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel ~ On Substack
https://marolitango.substack.com/
Vasa State Wilderness Preserve, Northern Reach
The west coast of Jivada’s large continent from Pulina Nava south was fifth-pass reclaimed land mass, less than 5,000 years old.
In contrast, much of the Northern Reach was nearly as old as the Anye migration’s arrival in-system. There, California redwood trees poked at the sky, branches laden with eagle nests, roots drilled into manufactured soil that was, even given an extra 20,000 years, barely knit together well enough to support them.
Which was why Jivada was buying all its lumber on Earth, and a good reason not to park your space yacht next to a tall tree on a windy day.
Continue reading “On Ziva Lake”Fambly
Motivated by belated news of my brother’s passing, a cousin who I have not seen in 20 years tracked me down via LinkedIn, a rare benefit of my participation on that platform, but here we are on the first paragraph and already I digress.
That’s what reconnecting with distant family is all about, isn’t it. Lots of digressing, an exchange of photographs, an opportunity to re-tell stories to folks who haven’t heard them before.
I learned that one of my relations was a figure in the The Tri-State Crematory scandal in Noble, Georgia in 2002, and immediately thought, “Oh, no. Aunt Alice was an embezzler” only to find out she was an improperly disposed corpse, which might be a better tale, depending on the audience.
Cousins Joan and Jean ordered one of my novels, which they promised to read. We started planning a get-together in Texas. Jean says I can have an heirloom coffee table, built by my natural father, who died when I was a baby.
I’m up at 4:00 AM with Bruno, who acted like he needed to go out. We went downstairs, after which he showed zero interest in making a wee-wee.
He’s sitting on my feet. I’m grateful. I have family.
Hidden Page Alert!
At least, until I get around to putting a link up. Enjoy!
Finally!
A decent book description, except it's still too long.
Nobody expects the Sasquatch Intervention.
A Vedic text tells of ancient gods who cast a shadow upon the Earth, shielding humanity from an angry sun. Or, as history books will soon report: when Sol last went micro-nova, Mercury, Venus, and the Anye migration fleet were positioned in eclipse, the latter on purpose.
Earth was scorched — but not destroyed. The event is cyclical, coming around again, and fortunately, Vidura’s furry pilgrims are still living in the neighborhood.
Unfortunately, the fleet is in mothballs. The planets will not be lining up to help. Two million light years away on the planet of the Unseen, a potentially hostile race of bird-folk have demonstrated the ability to get here from there.
Continue reading “Finally!”The Process ~ 3 of n
First chapters are always a challenge, even for authors who sell lots of books. I am therefore unsurprised to find that Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel has a reader retention problem.
Not that I can tell from comments. No, y’all are apparently too polite to leave comments … but I can tell from the stats how we’re doing, and it’s not great.
Chapters 1 & 4 appear to be favorites. I agree with the audience — that’s some good work, right there.
I’m cringing on 12, not listed above; not that it should be — it’s unfocused, begging for a brutal edit.
Continue reading “The Process ~ 3 of n”Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 25
https://marolitango.substack.com/s/read-the-book
The menfolk were smoking cigarettes in the castle driveway, accompanied by a non-elevated size-two fighting maroli named Quill.
Quill was 1.75 meters tall, with 2 heavy-lift primary tentacles, 4 lesser ungula, 6 grav-lift pucks around the skirt, 6 more on the capsule, eye dots all the way around, and a shock wand clipped below the plug cavity.
Carmen Benequista gave the machine a wide berth. Marie Jourdain stepped in for a closer look.
She said, “Can I get one of these?”
General Thorson fished a gas-station butane lighter out of a pocket.
He told Colonel Clarke, “You should see if Incredible might come to work for her.”
Clarke nodded. “I’ll ask him.”
“Well, like I was saying …” Thorson lit another cigarette. “Makes a lot of sense. Two forces. Cadre does political and military. Zirna Zapha handles policing and civil order. Good cop, bad cop; only you don’t tell the troublemakers which is which.”
Carmen reached for the pack of smokes. “It worked on Vidura.”
“And see here, it doesn’t matter whether it works on Earth or not.” He tucked the lighter into her palm. “It’s precedent. We get to tell my constituency we’re going by the book.”
Carmen tapped a cigarette on her thumbnail. “Who shall we cast in the role of space pirates?”
Thorson made a possum grin. “I’m looking at your boyfriend here.”
Brandon rubbed at his nose. “CH Banks is a business. We don’t do policing for free.”
“The Cadre doesn’t do military for free.”
“Who’s my customer?”
“Adopt a Zeze militant enterprise model. You know, like Boschert GMBH Zurich.”
“That’s not in our portfolio.”
“You have 3600 employees, old son. Maybe you could be a little more flexible.”
Marie Jourdain said, “It’s after 10:00 PM in France.”
Brandon’s eyes flicked away. “I’m calling our ride.”
Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 20
I would really appreciate feedback on these opening chapters.
Click here to start at the beginning.
Pulina Nava, Planet Jivada
Offshore of PN, a stately Tuscan Renaissance villa drifted at a thousand meters altitude, aimless, nudged along by the wind, meandering on gravitic tensors as though sliding on ice.
SagGha House, built 1438, the work of Italian/AjJivadi architect Mechelozzo, a prototype for Palazzo Medici, Florence, Italy, 1444.
Erected atop a surplus grav-lift marine construction barge, commissioned as an owner-managed airborne luxury residential complex, then serving as a monastery, a college and a reform school.
Until occupied by SagGha Prefect Samuel Orsa — priest, scholar, family man. A furry Anye Mahat Limar, 138 years old, bearlike in appearance, sometimes referred to on Earth as the Space Pope.
Continue reading “Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 20”
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