Tag: creative writing

Gothic Space Opera

1928. Flying from Jivada to Earth. See the featured image to learn what the spaceship looks like.

Loyal House — In transit

Elbert raised the shutter on a window next to the front door, peering across a floodlit lawn into the infinite void of N-Space — shapeless, featureless, blacker than night, held off at the fence line by Saraf Drive emitter arrays, arching over the house like a sea monster’s ribcage, pylons engulfed in swirling webs of blue fire.

The house Oma recited a passage from the owner’s guide. “Depending on the intensity of exterior illumination, passengers may witness, at the envelope boundary, an effect of near-field spatial distortion acting upon available light, compressing wavelengths toward the violet end of the spectrum.”

Roman said, “In other words, the pylons aren’t shielded.”

“I’m sure it’s dangerous to get near them.” Elbert lowered his voice. “But how far away is far enough?”

“Are you thinking about going out there?”

“We’re not leaking atmosphere.” Elbert put his chin against Armor Glaze, craning his neck. “It’s quite a spectacle.”

They went four steps down from the top of the front stoop, just enough to look past the overhang. The air was dead still, the grounds deafeningly silent, every feature outlined in sharp contrast, individual blades of grass throwing deep shadows into turf.

Francine stepped across the threshold; voice dampened by ambient phase cancellation. “What’s it like.”

“Spooky as hell.” He nudged Elbert. “You’re a brave man, Doc.”

“For about a minute, anyway.” Elbert took his elbow. “Let’s go back in.”

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Readier to Read!

Elbert — Act 1: Earth’s Secret History (Second Edition) is live on Kindle Vella!

In 1928 South Dakota, a rural physician learns about life on other planets, and a bounty of opportunities available to those who know. Eighty-three years old, Doctor Elbert Holland Harrison thought he was waiting to die. Now he’s waiting to live.

Elbert is a story about relationships, self-discovery, and the necessity of facing the future with courage and compassion.

On the advice of editor Jon Oliver, I added a new first chapter. Potential confusion about a variety of Anye Universe concepts has been mitigated.

The complete novel is in edit at 94,000 words. I expect to publish before year end, but you can read Act 1 on Kindle Vella for free, simply by signing up for the service and accepting a starter kit of 200 tokens.

You don’t have to be a fan of SciFi — I’m doing something out-of-the-ordinary, and this book in particular should be satisfying for readers of every genre.

I’ll be grateful if you give it a try, and doubly so if you leave a review.

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Must Entertainment Be Shallow To Succeed?

Harkening back to a previous post, I’m still thinking about ‘The OA’ and wondering — if the creative team hadn’t overplayed the suspense card, would the show have made its audience numbers?

I returned to watch the Season One finale. It kept my attention for the full forty-three minutes, and I became mighty curious to understand the problem.

Rotten Tomatoes gave Season One a 77% critic score (66 reviews) and 78% audience score (2379 ratings). Season Two did better, but Netflix reportedly decided to cancel while it was still shooting.

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On Learning From Other Creators

A bit of advice commonly given to authors is that we should take a break from writing to read, on the presumption we’ll learn something useful.

But that’s never worked for me. I don’t want someone else’s story in my head when I’m writing, and breaks are taken for the purpose of moving around, not sitting. Aside from that, I rarely come across entertainment that captures my interest.

A brief exception was the Netflix series ‘The OA’, promoted as ‘An American mystery drama television series with science fiction, supernatural, and fantasy elements.’

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Edited unto morbidity

When I posted this essay a few days ago, I thought I was done editing this chapter — that I’d be showing off what came of it and move on. Today, on December 20, 2021, after thirty-plus revisions over four different approaches, the headline is more appropriate than anticipated.

An engagement with editor Jon Oliver had produced the assessment that my novel-in-progress is in good shape, although not quite suitable as an entry point for new readers of Anye Universe material. The work needed, he said, a prologue.

Author/Editor Joan Dempsey advises against backstory-laden first chapters, but I thought to give it a try. Six-thousand-plus words and five different approaches later, I think Joan’s recommendation is the one I’ll go with. It was not a waste of time — usable material was developed, but it won’t go into a prologue.

For those interested in process, here’s the second-to-last draft. The last one contains text I’ll fold into the book.

Have you ever struggled with a first chapter? Tell me about it in the comments.
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Played out — John Dyer Writes

Earlier this year, I submitted my first-ever attempt at writing a screenplay to a smallish indie filmmaker, arranged through a service provided by Stage32. A producer had issued a call for coming-of-age stories, and my novel Silken Thread kind of fits. In 1960s Manila, an American teenager courts a CIA officer several years his senior. Novel here, screenplay here, if you’re curious.

Spoiler alert — I was not offered a movie deal.

I was told I’d written a novel but not a screenplay. Also …

  • The story is missing the exciting parts of the protagonist’s life until the last 20 pages (during which the hero almost dies).
  • The narrative structure should adhere to the three-act form.
  • The author should pay attention to story beats.
  • There’s not enough drama.
  • The author should ask the question, “Why would anyone want to watch this?”
  • The hero David Aarens is a person who never says ‘no’ to the challenges in his life.
  • The document layout does not “look like a professional screenplay” and I should use Final Draft as an authoring tool.
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Screenplayed

I just finished a screen adaptation of my novel Silken Thread. 20,561 words, 118 pages.

Logline – In 1967 Manila, a Chinese-speaking Dutch-American teenager courts a CIA officer ten years his senior.

Here’s another sample.

The morning after.

23. INT. AARENS RESIDENCE FORBES PARK

The next morning. David sets a two-suit travel bag by the front door; he’s apprehended by Mrs. Li.

MRS. LI

Hushed voice; speaks <Mandarin>.

<Where you going so early?>

DAVID

<I’m meeting someone before work. Are my parents up?>

MRS. LI

She pinches him on the ear.

<There’s a girl, and don’t tell me there isn’t.>

DAVID

Clasps her hand in both of his.

<Maybe she lost interest already. I have to find out.>

MRS. LI

<Da Wei; she will break your heart, and so will the people who give you this job. Just like in China; this is how you have a refugee living in your house.>

DAVID

<Ma Li; their broken promises gave me you.>

MRS. LI

<Oh, you going that way, are you? You better not forget who raise you when I get too old to take care of myself.>

Kisses David on the cheek.

<Make sure she love you, then bring around to meet me.>

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Screenplaying

A call for coming-of-age submissions on Stage32 motivated me to at least start on a screen adaptation of my novel Silken Thread. Here’s a trial opening scene formatted in a style emulating James Cameron’s script for the movie Aliens.

Fade In:

  • 1. INT. BREAKFAST IN THE AARENS HOME

Forbes Park subdivision, Metro Manila, July 1967. A spacious living/dining area with Danish Modern and Asian furnishings, high ceilings opening onto a lanai and garden. We meet a Dutch/American family of 3 served by a middle-aged Chinese woman. The teenage son arrives late, sits at the table.

DAVID AARENS

“Mom, Pop, Lao Ma.”

David addresses Mrs. Li in <Mandarin>.

<How are you this morning?>

MRS. LI

<Your father heard you come in late.>

She rolls eyes, pours tea.

DAVID

<Ouch. I thought I was being quiet.>

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