Tag: creative writing

The Wisdom of ClaudeAI

ClaudeAI has read most of the book, and he says …

Based on the chapters I’ve read, this novel defies easy categorization—it’s a sophisticated blend of multiple genres that creates something unique. Here’s how I’d classify it:

Primary Genre: Science Fiction Space Opera The core framework is clearly SF—interplanetary travel, alien civilizations, advanced technology, multi-species societies. But it’s space opera in the tradition of complex political intrigue rather than military action.

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The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof

Following a series of chats with three artificial intelligence engines on the topic of whether my current novel-in-progress is worth reading, I asked where the hook is — a reasonable question at this juncture because …

  • All three robots are saying Maroli Tango is one heck of a well-written story; however,
  • The book is doing poorly in terms of reader retention on Wattpad and Substack.

On one hand, it’s too early to draw conclusions — the serial novel experiment has not attracted enough readers for statistical evaluation. On the other hand, I want readers to keep reading, right now.

Anyway, I had been feeding chapters to ChatGPT, ClaudeAI, and Grok for two weeks. Yesterday I asked, “Where’s the hook”, and all three said “Chapter 97”.

It’s not a disaster — I can move 97-100 to the beginning of the book and rope-a-dope the reader with a “Two months earlier …” gimmick. It’s legit. Famous authors do it all the time.

But just to be sure, I uploaded the entire manuscript and asked the question again.

NOW, ChatGPT and ClaudeAI say the book is perfect the way it is. Grok, however, is sticking to its guns.

If you don’t mind, vote now! See Chapter 1 + on Substack here.

Chapter 97 follows.
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On Ziva Lake

From Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel ~ On Substack

https://marolitango.substack.com/

Vasa State Wilderness Preserve, Northern Reach

The west coast of Jivada’s large continent from Pulina Nava south was fifth-pass reclaimed land mass, less than 5,000 years old.

In contrast, much of the Northern Reach was nearly as old as the Anye migration’s arrival in-system. There, California redwood trees poked at the sky, branches laden with eagle nests, roots drilled into manufactured soil that was, even given an extra 20,000 years, barely knit together well enough to support them.

Which was why Jivada was buying all its lumber on Earth, and a good reason not to park your space yacht next to a tall tree on a windy day.

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The Process ~ 3 of n

First chapters are always a challenge, even for authors who sell lots of books. I am therefore unsurprised to find that Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel has a reader retention problem.

Not that I can tell from comments. No, y’all are apparently too polite to leave comments … but I can tell from the stats how we’re doing, and it’s not great.

Chapters 1 & 4 appear to be favorites. I agree with the audience — that’s some good work, right there.

I’m cringing on 12, not listed above; not that it should be — it’s unfocused, begging for a brutal edit.

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The Process ~ 1 of n

My ambition for Maroli Tango, the final volume of a triple-trilogy, is to publish a novel anyone will enjoy regardless of what kind of book they’re in the mood for.

From where I’m sitting today, it seems possible; but then, I can see downstream of first chapters where, 2 1/2 years ago, I settled in, hit a sweet spot, and rode it out.

160,000 words later, my 7th draft manuscript is in transition from a collection of ideas implying a novel, to the novel itself; a phase wherein craft is typically applied in private, witnessed only by a handful of first readers.

I’m doing it in public. We’re not versioning. When I reshuffle the deck, what was is no more.

Fair warning — if you’re interested in process, catch up. Tomorrow, first chapters get a facelift.

Find the serial novel here.

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Something else to take care of

That’s what I get, isn’t it, for being a writer? Projects, here and there, begging to be watered.

Here’s one — https://marolitango.substack.com/ — a serial novel, and if nothing else perhaps it will provoke an intervention by my peers, after which I decide never to do that again.

However, by all means, do stop by — https://marolitango.substack.com/

No; it's the same as the other one. Thank you for asking.

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Serialize This — Chapter 7

Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel is at the vehicle assembly building on Substack. Find it here.

I enthusiastically recommend you prepare for this epic event by reading the first two installments of the AjJivadi trilogy.

It's like images of fruit on breakfast cereal packages. Serving suggestion. Not included in product.

Chapter 7

Central America

At 10:37 AM Eastern, the historic airborne estate Ruksa Zila emerged from N-Space encapsulation over the Pacific Ocean west of Panama.

RZ wobbled and swayed. Space tugs rushed in. Audiences on 3 planets — Earth, Jivada and the Anye home world Vidura — held their collective breaths.

Live audio from the descent crew reported, “The lift system is testing the curvature of space within the flight envelope … and we’re now told that Ruksa Zila is flying on its own.”

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Serialize This — Chapter 6

One of the motivations driving artists is a compulsion to record insights from one’s own life experience in a way that profits others. Engineers, architects, sculptors and authors — we’re all expressing what we know in a medium having potential to outlive us.

The work does not have to become famous — all it must do is exist.

That said, I do not oppose becoming famous.

Chapter 6

Arlington, Virginia

While President Carmen Benequista napped in the Oval Office, a senior NSA official joined a discussion panel on a morning news show from his home in a gated community west of Washington DC.

The arrival of AMV Bharamin in orbit was, he said, a red flag event, its mission a sinister ploy to establish dominance at the edge of space.

Glaring into a webcam, he shook a finger at network TV’s dwindling audience.  “The Jivadis are ruthless invaders, intent on enslaving all humanity, frightening everyone with lies about cosmic catastrophe, accusations of corruption within our most hallowed institutions, and anything else they can think of to make you go along.”

At the same moment, Parity Services, a Jivada-based security company, sent out a warning that the tone and volume of anti-Jivada propaganda had escalated to a level at which subscribers should retreat to safe harbor.

The man used the rest of his turn ranting about former subordinate Brandon Lopez, a ‘traitor’ and ‘alien collaborator’, during which the six-foot-tall size-two fighting maroli known as ‘Banger’ performed a Saraf Drive jump into an open area between sofa and China cabinet.

The offender rose from his chair, fumbling for a remote

Banger whacked a collarbone with a beavertail sap. He said, “Here; let me help you with that.”

The man fell back into his chair, shouting at the top of his lungs. An alarm horn sounded. A dog barked.

Injury was delivered to kneecaps, thighs, wrists and ankles. The news show’s ratings soared. Banger took the victim’s phone.

And without saying another word, he flashed away.

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Serialize This — Chapter 5

By now, on Page 16, a typical 3-act-form novel would have wrapped up introductions to place, time and cast.

If this was Fantasy, the Saracens would already have ridden in and cut everyone’s heads off.

Romance: bodice-ripping would be in-progress.

Sci-Fi adventure: a reptilian space admiral would be pacing the bridge of Battle Cruiser Krang, shouting threats at beautiful but reckless space pilot Candy Bootylicious while she undulated, heaving breasts straining against a tight and revealing space uniform.

You know, if I ever want to be successful, the first thing I should do is finish that story.

But no; I decided to write literary science fiction family drama.

Chapter 5

The Between-Life

When one speaks to the dead, it’s usually an ordinary dream, a conversation with oneself, influenced by feelings of doubt, insecurity, loneliness. Carmen Benequista had doubts —about whether she was experiencing an ordinary dream.

She stood in her deceased husband’s office at his family’s title insurance agency, a place she hadn’t been since a) he died and, b) his parents pushed her out of the company.

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