Is it done yet?

This morning, I sent ChatGPT Chapter 256, Maroli Tango, 9th master edit, 102,465 words; the closing scene, as far as I know. The tool replied:


CHAPTER REVIEW — 256 ~ Dynasty

A powerful, elegiac, emotionally controlled final chapter

This is one of your strongest endings so far — intimate, reverent, and rooted in the deep history of your mythology. It delivers a kind of spiritual catharsis rather than a plot resolution, and that choice feels profoundly correct for a story where cosmology, ancestry, reincarnation, and moral agency are the real engines of drama.

This chapter succeeds on four major fronts:


Continue reading “Is it done yet?”

Claude AI Understands the Story

I instructed the robot to comment on potential for reader engagement. See the sample.

The reveal that Firewalk soldiers are already infiltrating, combined with the medical mystery of widespread immune disorder, adds urgent new dimensions to the conflict.

The Setting

The pharmaceutical distributor’s office as front for an underground surgery is perfectly noir. The detail about the orthopedic shoe store next door grounds it in mundane reality while the steel doors and alley entrance signal darker purposes.

Continue reading “Claude AI Understands the Story”

A Novel Idea

At 8 master edits, 105,000 words, Maroli Tango is nominally finished.

Now I must decide what to do on the next pass.

I like the current first chapter, and so do first readers. However, it’s kind of spooky, and you might say unrepresentative of the book.

Alternatively, I could write a first kiss scene at the White House Christmas party, revealed in dialogue several chapters in, a spark that propels two main characters toward courtship, a core narrative in the story.

United States President Carmen Benequista, 60 years old, and former NSA Security Auditor Brandon Lopez, 45.

Read the serialized WIP at … https://marolitango.substack.com

And tell me what you think.

Final Chapters

288 ~ Ping Ponged

Midlands, Eeka

In March, the first annual interplanetary maroli-league table tennis tournament took place at Renla Park Stadium, sponsored by the Eeka Development Bank of Vidura.

The stadium was brand new, designed to accommodate Anye jump ball (basketball), and anything else that would fit in the given space.

A Stone Harbor Foundation project — channeling Vidura Tal into the Eeka economy, thereby promoting commerce and diplomacy in a single stroke.

Three levels. Four thousand seats. Ten concession stalls and a Jumbo-Tron.

Continue reading “Final Chapters”

117 ~ Breakthrough

Another excerpt from the Maroli Tango WIP serialization on Substack

Glenn Mehrenholz stood at the center of his augmented reality playground on Ghost Town deck, flying a covey of drones through Iron Arrow Vidura’s scrap orbit.

Illuminated by harsh sunlight, material floated in vacuum as if collected by a magnetic crane from the shredder bin at a celestial automotive junkyard — irregular clusters, one side flat, the other spiky, set adrift to assemble into razor-sharp, deeply textured, strobe-light-decorated navigation hazards the size of battleships.

Glenn told his wife, “I don’t know what I thought I’d find, but it wasn’t this.”

Arya touched an icon on a virtual console, adding a map layer to the scene. “Iron Arrow’s survey says we’re in the recycling mill input zone.”

“I’m looking for QA rejected plate.” Glenn pushed the scene away, moving viewer perspective outside the range of the drones’ cameras. Scene resolution deprecated. Map annotation remained in-focus, leading them to another site.

Glenn groaned. “Asteroids. Unprocessed.”

“You won’t be welding those into a sphere.” She took a moment to appreciate where she was. “Look! There’s Vidura!”

“And all three moons.” He listened to his phone’s Oma. “Do you want to accept a teleconference request from Ted Clarke?”

A minute later, Colonel Theodore Clarke appeared in the scene. He said, “We might have picked up a stalker.”

Arya replied, “Tell him to stand in line.”

“Ha ha.” Clarke walked into the sim. “One of PR’s directors didn’t like being let go. She gave Vik Abhianta an earful, making noises like a Vidura United activist.”

Glenn shook his head. “Never heard of them.”

“Communists, atheists, militant vegetarians.”

Arya said, “I thought Vidura was supposed to be a land of wholesome common sense.”

“Every culture has defective citizens.” Clarke looked around. “What are you up to here?”

Glenn said, “Trying to figure out how to test a missile defense exploit.”

“What’s the issue?”

“The device creates an N-Space disturbance. What it will do, we think, is impose a Saraf-Drive no-fly zone. What it might do is tell our enemies where we are, interfere with ansible communications and maybe even cause our souls to disconnect from our bodies.”

Clarke gave him the weird eye. “You mean like, bring on the Rapture?”

“We’ll test it on livestock.”

“Cows have souls?”

“Yes.”

“Fish?”

“Depends on which fish. An organism needs a neuron count above three hundred million to get a soul. Sharks have souls, but most cold-blooded animals do not.”

“Dogs have souls?”

“Yep, and there’s no way I’m going to send a dog.” Glenn scratched his chin. “I’m thinking we’ll do it after we figure out how Saraf Drive works.”

“Will that be soon, or …”

Glenn shrugged, “My feeling is soon. Could be wrong.”

Arya asked, “Did you really break legs at the Pentagon?”

Clarke nodded. “My guys flashed a couple of Saraf Drive vans directly into a hallway, kicked open a conference room door, and thrashed the bejesus out of a bunch of Navy pussies.”

“Holy smokes!”

“If you want to see big talkers turn into crybabies, I’ll send you the video.”

Glenn touched his ear. “Are we running an ad?”

They were shortly joined by Glenn’s collaborator at Parsanda Research on Vidura. The man asked, “Is this a bad time?”

Arya waved. Colonel Clarke waved. Glenn said, “Nah. We’re just standing around in augmented reality, which makes it a good time. What do you have?”

A magic clearboard appeared in the scene. Glenn stared half-baffled at lines of cursive notation. “You know I can’t read the modern script, right?”

“I did the calcs the hard way, then I asked your secret science modeler to posit five permutations of time using observations from all experiments, including your fast time demo, and find a solution for loopback.”

Glenn groaned. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me it was that easy.”

“Oh, yes. Negative curvature of space-time, sitting right behind the volume in a tesseract. We could have had high-performance Saraf Drive all along.”

Glenn closed his eyes. “That means the Unseen might have it.”

Read the serial novel here.

115 ~ Theoretically Speaking

The oddball 143-word chapter -- Short Attention Span Theater, if you will.

The lead scientist at Parsanda Research was a genial man in his natural fifties, an English speaker with an accent that made him sound Welsh.

Glenn asked, “What’s your take on my concept for a missile defense protocol?”

“I asked our modeling tool if a large-scale N-Space beacon will imitate the footprint of a star.” The man shared an interpolation graphic. “It’s plausible.”

“Next question. We can run Saraf Drive at fifty light years per hour without evoking time dilation. Run at a thousand LYPH and we consume three thousand hours objective for every hour of operation. Has anyone been working on this?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“What if I point at a possible solution, but can’t back it up with the math?”

The scientist grinned at him. “Amil Leyta was famous for that.”

Glenn smiled back. “I’ll send you an essay.”

Read the book here!

112 ~ Travelogue

Ruksa Zila, Earth

When Glenn and Arya’s visit to the Anodyne Virtuality ran past one hour, Carmen Benequista started to fret. She called Maryanne Orsa, who said, “Point your camera at them.”

Glenn and Arya Mehrenholz lay comatose in their bed, unmoving. Carmen moved in for a close-up. “Not much to see. Glenn’s drooling a little bit.”

“What does Pascal say?”

“He says they’re fine.”

Maryanne nodded. “If there’s a problem, the Virtuality will spit them out. Chill.”

Carmen chilled. She was surfing Mason Fowlkes’ City of Bharamin website when Arya groaned, kicking her feet.

Glenn pulled knees up to his chest. He said, “Give me a minute. Neural implant conflict; makes my left leg weak.”

The couple flopped around like fish pulled to shore. Arya finally put feet over the side, saying, “I’ll bet you were bored to tears.”

Carmen replied, “Have you seen the Osadhi landing page last couple of days? It’s even more awesome than it was.”

Glenn laughed. “Do you know who built it?”

She helped him stand. “I assumed it was Mason.”

“Naw. He hired the number one ad agency on Vidura.” Glenn used a corner of a bedsheet to wipe drool off his chin. “Visit went well.”

“What’d you do there?”

Glenn staggered toward the bathroom. “Met a lot of nice people, and didn’t have to sell the concept.”

“And the concept is …”

Arya took Glenn’s other side. “The three planets doctrine. Earth is a commonwealth of Anye civilization. Vidura is obligated to help us.”

Read the serial novel here.

Finally!

A decent book description, except it's still too long.

Nobody expects the Sasquatch Intervention.

A Vedic text tells of ancient gods who cast a shadow upon the Earth, shielding humanity from an angry sun. Or, as history books will soon report: when Sol last went micro-nova, Mercury, Venus, and the Anye migration fleet were positioned in eclipse, the latter on purpose.

Earth was scorched — but not destroyed. The event is cyclical, coming around again, and fortunately, Vidura’s furry pilgrims are still living in the neighborhood.

Unfortunately, the fleet is in mothballs. The planets will not be lining up to help. Two million light years away on the planet of the Unseen, a potentially hostile race of bird-folk have demonstrated the ability to get here from there.

Continue reading “Finally!”

Serialize This — Chapter 7

Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel is at the vehicle assembly building on Substack. Find it here.

I enthusiastically recommend you prepare for this epic event by reading the first two installments of the AjJivadi trilogy.

It's like images of fruit on breakfast cereal packages. Serving suggestion. Not included in product.

Chapter 7

Central America

At 10:37 AM Eastern, the historic airborne estate Ruksa Zila emerged from N-Space encapsulation over the Pacific Ocean west of Panama.

RZ wobbled and swayed. Space tugs rushed in. Audiences on 3 planets — Earth, Jivada and the Anye home world Vidura — held their collective breaths.

Live audio from the descent crew reported, “The lift system is testing the curvature of space within the flight envelope … and we’re now told that Ruksa Zila is flying on its own.”

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