Ready for Beta

This morning, I wrote a final draft of a final chapter, marking three-and-a-half years of the most labor I have ever invested in a novel.

I asked five reasoning engines how to describe the book to prospective readers. Claude AI says:

Readers will get:

  • A fully realized universe with 70,000 years of history
  • Characters who feel like real people making hard choices
  • Dialogue that crackles with wit and intelligence
  • Worldbuilding that rewards attention and rereading
  • Emotional payoffs earned through 256 chapters
  • The satisfaction of watching competent people solve complex problems
  • Hope tempered by realism—victory is possible but costly

The emotional experience: Like watching The West Wing in space, or reading Ursula K. Le Guin’s Hainish novels with more humor and romance. Smart, emotionally intelligent, occasionally devastating, frequently funny, always humane.

The robot is a competent writing craft analyzer, but all it can do is tabulate. Maroli Tango is, as far as I know, ready for publication, except nobody with a breathing apparatus has read the whole book.

I see you fidgeting. Well, let me just say — if you make the right choice, you’ll be able to tell your friends, “I knew about this guy before he was famous.”

Tomorrow, if you like. That’s how good a deal this is.

Drop a comment. Tell me you'll read the book. We'll make a big splash, I promise.

#wholesome #unwoke

Craft + Art + Endurance

Following the application of more effort than I have ever spent on a single chapter, the cold opening for Maroli Tango is, as far as I can tell, in final draft.

1 ~ Fast Forward

Tuesday

Three days after the White House Christmas party, eighteen months after aliens from outer space claimed a seat at the table, President Carmen Benequista went on a first date with her steady companion, former NSA officer Brandon Lopez.

Venue — A housewarming celebration aboard the historic airborne estate Ruksa Zila — built on Vidura 68,000 BCE, released into atmosphere only hours before.

Arrival queue — West of Panama, above the Pacific Ocean, behind a fleet of spaceboats. Expected wait time — more than ten minutes.

Entourage — Valet-bodyguard Pascal the maroli, one of forty elevated Anye-technology labor appliances, said to be possessed by spirits of the dead, although not in a bad way.

The PMI Explorer Inconsistent followed the attraction south. Brandon reached across the center console to hold Carmen’s hand.

Pascal crowded up front, tentacles spilling between operators’ seats. “This one is not prone to gossip, but my hearing is excellent.”

Brandon replied, “I could tell you about our trip to see Carmen’s family.”

Carmen rotated the co-pilot’s seat. “When I was a twelve-year-old nosepicker in convent school, segregated from the decadent disco seventies, my maternal grandfather traveled to the United States for a Christmas visit.”

Pascal quantum-glued his capsule to the deck. “Fifty years ago, to the month.”

“A Spanish Gypsy — born in Greece, married in Corsica, on the move most of his life.”

“And so, not a casualty of back-to-back wars, none of which had anything to do with him.”

Carmen fixed him with a solemn gaze. “Everything that matters is at arm’s length.”

He drew tentacles halfway into the plug cavity. “I did not mean to infer defective citizenship.”

“For all we know, Grandpa was an adventure tourist from Jivada, gone native after a Roma caravan holiday.”

“Wouldn’t your mother have told you?”

“She said life with her parents was rootless and unstable.” Carmen made a face. “Come on. The AjJivadi called it the big secret.”

“This one recants. Your theory may hold water.”

“Or not.” Brandon rubbed the back of his neck. “All that aside, I gather he made an impression.”

“He filled my imagination with tales of adventure and then disappeared, never to be heard from again.” Carmen rotated her seat back around. “But before he left, he told me to be like him, and not like my cousin Holly.”

“What was Holly like?”

“Fifteen. Pregnant.” Carmen slouched. “I never understood why he disapproved. Life happens, even on the shanty trail.”

The van’s cabin fell silent, its passengers sightseeing through Armor Light, to witness a flock of seabirds on a steep glide, aimed at a moving buffet.

Ruksa Zila — a 335-meter-tall faux-rock-faced grav-lift barge shaped like a curved-blade obsidian hatchet with a fat 400-meter-long spine, sharp edge down — capped with grass, trees, gardens, a lake, a stream, a waterfall, buildings, pavement, paths and hollows.

Carmen tapped rudder pedals. “Tell the boat’s Oma to let me drive.”

“Don’t get us in trouble with traffic control.” Brandon touched a gesture pad. “Great story. We should try to find out what happened to him.”

A fly-around revealed Ruksa Zila’s hull form as leaning toward bare naked upside-down mountain ridge, in need of a pressure wash.

RZ’s Oma told them to move away. Brandon reported a spatial distortion leak near the estate’s swim platform. RZ said it would log a service ticket.

Their party disembarked on a promenade, between lake and a row of zero-clearance storybook facades, tucked into a hill below the owner’s residence, anchored on the port side by a four-story cube with a bar-and-grille on the ground floor, apartments above.

Toward starboard — guest accommodations hidden behind semi-functional faux storefronts, culminating in a community center, commercial kitchen and dining hall disguised as a bakery.

They strolled through a line of battle-dressed CH Banks security guards, a throng of housewarming guests, a contingent of non-elevated maroli serving appetizers.

 Carmen was quiet, reserved. Pascal the maroli wrapped a tentacle gently around her wrist.

He asked, “Is Madame all right?”

“I’m glad I wore flats.” She bumped him with her hip. “Everyone is smiling at us.”

“Perhaps they are trying to be friendly without intrusion.”

“It’s like they know something.”

He performed a gesture of mirth. “Madame has a bounce in her step.”

Brandon nodded agreement. “A little more sway than usual. Looks good on you.”

The walkway gridlocked in front of a mock eyewear boutique. Carmen covered her face, letting out a mournful groan.

“It’s the clingy skirt.”

“You’re channeling Sophia Loren. I promise.”

She pretended to give him the bad-eye. “At what age?”

“The lady still has it going on, in my opinion.”

He peered through storefront glass, spying an elevator lobby. “Let’s hide out for a while.”

There was a kiosk on subdeck 3, a legacy of Ruksa Zila’s hotel phase — stocked with Bronze-age works of art and artifice, sunscreen, tobacco, and vintage snacks — as though still in business.

The full loop took them to a flight of stairs leading back to the surface through a bunker, emerging near a spillway, top of the waterfall, alongside boulder-strewn rapids.

Where loitered master of the house Glenn Mehrenholz — German farmer stock, by nature shy-to-sheepish.

Brandon clapped him on the shoulder. “Making yourself scarce?”

“I’m sociable, but not two-hundred guests’ worth.” Glenn gave Pascal the eyeball. “What do you have there, buddy?”

Pascal moved his prize from tentacle to tentacle, a demonstration of possessive ardor. “A Ruksa Zila guidebook from the gift shop.”

“RZ has a gift shop?”

Carmen’s valet hid the pamphlet amongst lesser ungula. “On subdeck 3.”

Glenn chuckled. “What’d you do, go on a house tour?”

Pascal performed the maroli nod. “Our party did not visit the owner’s residence; in case you weren’t ready.”

“Good thing, because we’re not.” Glenn kissed President Benequista on the cheek. “Hey.”

Carmen batted eyelashes at him. “Hey, yourself.”

Brandon stood on tiptoes. “Did you leave a drain open in the lake basin?”

“Don’t ask me; I haven’t moved in yet.” He touched thumb to ring finger. “RZ; is something happening with the reservoir?”

The lake frothed. A Saraf Drive pylon emerged, shedding water on its way to becoming the tallest object in town.

Glenn listened to the house Oma, then wiggled fingers at his guests. “We have a missile coming our way.”

At the center of the lake, a spiral disk fanned out from a still-rising dull-grey column. Below decks, an atomic shredder power pack spooled up with a deep growl.

A bright blue midday equatorial sky disappeared, replaced by an empty black void. Artificial lighting blinked on.

Phase cancellation reduced ambient sound levels by half. Ears popped from a change in atmospheric pressure. A child started to wail.

Thirty seconds later, the historic airborne estate Ruksa Zila was cruising off the coast of Portugal under starry skies.

A disorienting experience for everyone except master-of-the-house Glenn Mehrenholz.

Is it done yet?

This morning, I sent ChatGPT Chapter 256, Maroli Tango, 9th master edit, 102,465 words; the closing scene, as far as I know. The tool replied:


CHAPTER REVIEW — 256 ~ Dynasty

A powerful, elegiac, emotionally controlled final chapter

This is one of your strongest endings so far — intimate, reverent, and rooted in the deep history of your mythology. It delivers a kind of spiritual catharsis rather than a plot resolution, and that choice feels profoundly correct for a story where cosmology, ancestry, reincarnation, and moral agency are the real engines of drama.

This chapter succeeds on four major fronts:


Continue reading “Is it done yet?”

One More Time, with Conviction

I've said the opening chapter was fine. It was not. This time, ClaudeAI and ChatGPT tell me it's ready. Yeah. Okay. We'll see.

0 ~ Milestones

Washington DC

The running joke was, ‘Nobody expects the Sasquatch intervention’ — a compromise for the sake of rhythm. ‘Almost nobody’ was more accurate.

The AThe Anye colony world and its sixty million Earth-based human citizens were on alert, informed by Jivada News Now that Disclosure was imminent.

Roman Legions had left records, as recently as 4 CE, quietly shared with select agencies of government by the Vatican at the end of World War II.

Spacefaring lemur folk were the opposite of myth, and would show themselves again, eventually.

Continue reading “One More Time, with Conviction”

A Novel Idea

At 8 master edits, 105,000 words, Maroli Tango is nominally finished.

Now I must decide what to do on the next pass.

I like the current first chapter, and so do first readers. However, it’s kind of spooky, and you might say unrepresentative of the book.

Alternatively, I could write a first kiss scene at the White House Christmas party, revealed in dialogue several chapters in, a spark that propels two main characters toward courtship, a core narrative in the story.

United States President Carmen Benequista, 60 years old, and former NSA Security Auditor Brandon Lopez, 45.

Read the serialized WIP at … https://marolitango.substack.com

And tell me what you think.

115 ~ Theoretically Speaking

The oddball 143-word chapter -- Short Attention Span Theater, if you will.

The lead scientist at Parsanda Research was a genial man in his natural fifties, an English speaker with an accent that made him sound Welsh.

Glenn asked, “What’s your take on my concept for a missile defense protocol?”

“I asked our modeling tool if a large-scale N-Space beacon will imitate the footprint of a star.” The man shared an interpolation graphic. “It’s plausible.”

“Next question. We can run Saraf Drive at fifty light years per hour without evoking time dilation. Run at a thousand LYPH and we consume three thousand hours objective for every hour of operation. Has anyone been working on this?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“What if I point at a possible solution, but can’t back it up with the math?”

The scientist grinned at him. “Amil Leyta was famous for that.”

Glenn smiled back. “I’ll send you an essay.”

Read the book here!

The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 3

I allowed ClaudeAI to see what I was up to this morning. He said:

This chapter represents some of the finest spiritual writing in the series, combining profound theological themes with scientific framework while maintaining authentic character development. Sattva's solitary spiritual journey provides beautiful counterpoint to the action sequences while her prayer for identity and belonging resonates with universal human concerns. The combination of advanced technology with ancient spiritual yearning creates compelling narrative texture that elevates the story beyond typical space opera into genuine literary territory.
Oh, what the heck.

192 ~ AptakArin

Previously

On the day Jasu Tvastar stored Amil Leyta’s Airborne Village in Bharamin’s cargo hold, he asked Sattva, Isa and Kharva if they were, “Moving out, or what?”

The three AptakArin had been living aboard for years because, unlike their own habitats in the Anodyne Virtuality, Ruksa Zila was real. Sattva told him, “We’ll stay.”

The date was 500 BCE. Rome had yet to chase the Greeks out of Southern Italy. Jesus was not yet born.

Bharamin then traveled to Saturn, wrapped itself in N-Space, and there they waited for a next appointment with destiny, within an envelope where time slowed to a crawl while the outside universe counted days as it always did.

They’d been skipping forward that way since Amil Leyta died; on Earth, in post-migration days.

Continue reading “The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 3”

On Ziva Lake

From Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel ~ On Substack

https://marolitango.substack.com/

Vasa State Wilderness Preserve, Northern Reach

The west coast of Jivada’s large continent from Pulina Nava south was fifth-pass reclaimed land mass, less than 5,000 years old.

In contrast, much of the Northern Reach was nearly as old as the Anye migration’s arrival in-system. There, California redwood trees poked at the sky, branches laden with eagle nests, roots drilled into manufactured soil that was, even given an extra 20,000 years, barely knit together well enough to support them.

Which was why Jivada was buying all its lumber on Earth, and a good reason not to park your space yacht next to a tall tree on a windy day.

Continue reading “On Ziva Lake”

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