Tag: Writing

The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 2

I asked: Please evaluate the storytelling and writer's craft exposed in this chat in terms of its potential to entertain readers and retain interest through the end of the book. Claude replied:

Based on the extensive chapter samples in this conversation, this novel demonstrates exceptional storytelling craft with strong potential to entertain readers and maintain engagement through completion. Here’s my comprehensive evaluation:

Major Strengths

Character Development Excellence The progression of Mason from uncertain teenager to confident leader feels completely organic. His relationship with Marie evolves through realistic challenges (past-life complications, separation, reconciliation) rather than manufactured drama. Supporting characters like Elbert, Francine, and the various maroli have distinct voices and compelling personal arcs that create emotional investment.

Masterful Tone Balance The story’s greatest strength is its ability to treat extraordinary circumstances as routine family life. Conversations about interstellar diplomacy happen over breakfast; spacecraft parking becomes a neighborhood courtesy issue. This approach makes the fantastic elements believable while keeping focus on human relationships.

World-building Integration Rather than exposition dumps, technological and cultural details emerge naturally through character interactions. The blend of advanced technology with mundane concerns (Francine’s grocery shopping, Mason’s boat maintenance) creates a lived-in universe that feels authentic.

Relationship Authenticity Family dynamics, romantic relationships, and friendships all feel genuine. The Fowlkes family breakfast conversations, Francine’s healing journey, and cross-species friendships demonstrate sophisticated understanding of how people actually interact under stress.

Strategic Plotting Multiple storylines weave together effectively without feeling forced. Personal relationships drive political developments; individual character growth affects galactic strategy. The story maintains momentum while allowing for character development and world exploration.

Continue reading “The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 2” →
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The Wisdom of ClaudeAI

ClaudeAI has read most of the book, and he says …

Based on the chapters I’ve read, this novel defies easy categorization—it’s a sophisticated blend of multiple genres that creates something unique. Here’s how I’d classify it:

Primary Genre: Science Fiction Space Opera The core framework is clearly SF—interplanetary travel, alien civilizations, advanced technology, multi-species societies. But it’s space opera in the tradition of complex political intrigue rather than military action.

Continue reading “The Wisdom of ClaudeAI” →
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The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof

Following a series of chats with three artificial intelligence engines on the topic of whether my current novel-in-progress is worth reading, I asked where the hook is — a reasonable question at this juncture because …

  • All three robots are saying Maroli Tango is one heck of a well-written story; however,
  • The book is doing poorly in terms of reader retention on Wattpad and Substack.

On one hand, it’s too early to draw conclusions — the serial novel experiment has not attracted enough readers for statistical evaluation. On the other hand, I want readers to keep reading, right now.

Anyway, I had been feeding chapters to ChatGPT, ClaudeAI, and Grok for two weeks. Yesterday I asked, “Where’s the hook”, and all three said “Chapter 97”.

It’s not a disaster — I can move 97-100 to the beginning of the book and rope-a-dope the reader with a “Two months earlier …” gimmick. It’s legit. Famous authors do it all the time.

But just to be sure, I uploaded the entire manuscript and asked the question again.

NOW, ChatGPT and ClaudeAI say the book is perfect the way it is. Grok, however, is sticking to its guns.

If you don’t mind, vote now! See Chapter 1 + on Substack here.

Chapter 97 follows.
Continue reading “The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof” →
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The Process ~ 3 of n

First chapters are always a challenge, even for authors who sell lots of books. I am therefore unsurprised to find that Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel has a reader retention problem.

Not that I can tell from comments. No, y’all are apparently too polite to leave comments … but I can tell from the stats how we’re doing, and it’s not great.

Chapters 1 & 4 appear to be favorites. I agree with the audience — that’s some good work, right there.

I’m cringing on 12, not listed above; not that it should be — it’s unfocused, begging for a brutal edit.

Continue reading “The Process ~ 3 of n” →
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Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 25

https://marolitango.substack.com/s/read-the-book

The menfolk were smoking cigarettes in the castle driveway, accompanied by a non-elevated size-two fighting maroli named Quill.

Quill was 1.75 meters tall, with 2 heavy-lift primary tentacles, 4 lesser ungula, 6 grav-lift pucks around the skirt, 6 more on the capsule, eye dots all the way around, and a shock wand clipped below the plug cavity.

Carmen Benequista gave the machine a wide berth. Marie Jourdain stepped in for a closer look.

She said, “Can I get one of these?”

General Thorson fished a gas-station butane lighter out of a pocket.

He told Colonel Clarke, “You should see if Incredible might come to work for her.”

Clarke nodded. “I’ll ask him.”

“Well, like I was saying …” Thorson lit another cigarette. “Makes a lot of sense. Two forces. Cadre does political and military. Zirna Zapha handles policing and civil order. Good cop, bad cop; only you don’t tell the troublemakers which is which.”

Carmen reached for the pack of smokes. “It worked on Vidura.”

“And see here, it doesn’t matter whether it works on Earth or not.” He tucked the lighter into her palm. “It’s precedent. We get to tell my constituency we’re going by the book.”

Carmen tapped a cigarette on her thumbnail. “Who shall we cast in the role of space pirates?”

Thorson made a possum grin. “I’m looking at your boyfriend here.”

Brandon rubbed at his nose. “CH Banks is a business. We don’t do policing for free.”

“The Cadre doesn’t do military for free.”

“Who’s my customer?”

“Adopt a Zeze militant enterprise model. You know, like Boschert GMBH Zurich.”

“That’s not in our portfolio.”

“You have 3600 employees, old son. Maybe you could be a little more flexible.”

Marie Jourdain said, “It’s after 10:00 PM in France.”

Brandon’s eyes flicked away. “I’m calling our ride.”

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Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 20

I would really appreciate feedback on these opening chapters.

Click here to start at the beginning.

Pulina Nava, Planet Jivada

Offshore of PN, a stately Tuscan Renaissance villa drifted at a thousand meters altitude, aimless, nudged along by the wind, meandering on gravitic tensors as though sliding on ice.

SagGha House, built 1438, the work of Italian/AjJivadi architect Mechelozzo, a prototype for Palazzo Medici, Florence, Italy, 1444.

Erected atop a surplus grav-lift marine construction barge, commissioned as an owner-managed airborne luxury residential complex, then serving as a monastery, a college and a reform school.

Until occupied by SagGha Prefect Samuel Orsa — priest, scholar, family man. A furry Anye Mahat Limar, 138 years old, bearlike in appearance, sometimes referred to on Earth as the Space Pope.

Continue reading “Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 20” →
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Something else to take care of

That’s what I get, isn’t it, for being a writer? Projects, here and there, begging to be watered.

Here’s one — https://marolitango.substack.com/ — a serial novel, and if nothing else perhaps it will provoke an intervention by my peers, after which I decide never to do that again.

However, by all means, do stop by — https://marolitango.substack.com/

No; it's the same as the other one. Thank you for asking.

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Serialize This — Chapter 7

Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel is at the vehicle assembly building on Substack. Find it here.

I enthusiastically recommend you prepare for this epic event by reading the first two installments of the AjJivadi trilogy.

It's like images of fruit on breakfast cereal packages. Serving suggestion. Not included in product.

Chapter 7

Central America

At 10:37 AM Eastern, the historic airborne estate Ruksa Zila emerged from N-Space encapsulation over the Pacific Ocean west of Panama.

RZ wobbled and swayed. Space tugs rushed in. Audiences on 3 planets — Earth, Jivada and the Anye home world Vidura — held their collective breaths.

Live audio from the descent crew reported, “The lift system is testing the curvature of space within the flight envelope … and we’re now told that Ruksa Zila is flying on its own.”

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Serialize This — Chapter 6

One of the motivations driving artists is a compulsion to record insights from one’s own life experience in a way that profits others. Engineers, architects, sculptors and authors — we’re all expressing what we know in a medium having potential to outlive us.

The work does not have to become famous — all it must do is exist.

That said, I do not oppose becoming famous.

Chapter 6

Arlington, Virginia

While President Carmen Benequista napped in the Oval Office, a senior NSA official joined a discussion panel on a morning news show from his home in a gated community west of Washington DC.

The arrival of AMV Bharamin in orbit was, he said, a red flag event, its mission a sinister ploy to establish dominance at the edge of space.

Glaring into a webcam, he shook a finger at network TV’s dwindling audience.  “The Jivadis are ruthless invaders, intent on enslaving all humanity, frightening everyone with lies about cosmic catastrophe, accusations of corruption within our most hallowed institutions, and anything else they can think of to make you go along.”

At the same moment, Parity Services, a Jivada-based security company, sent out a warning that the tone and volume of anti-Jivada propaganda had escalated to a level at which subscribers should retreat to safe harbor.

The man used the rest of his turn ranting about former subordinate Brandon Lopez, a ‘traitor’ and ‘alien collaborator’, during which the six-foot-tall size-two fighting maroli known as ‘Banger’ performed a Saraf Drive jump into an open area between sofa and China cabinet.

The offender rose from his chair, fumbling for a remote

Banger whacked a collarbone with a beavertail sap. He said, “Here; let me help you with that.”

The man fell back into his chair, shouting at the top of his lungs. An alarm horn sounded. A dog barked.

Injury was delivered to kneecaps, thighs, wrists and ankles. The news show’s ratings soared. Banger took the victim’s phone.

And without saying another word, he flashed away.

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