When I posted this essay a few days ago, I thought I was done editing this chapter — that I’d be showing off what came of it and move on. Today, on December 20, 2021, after thirty-plus revisions over four different approaches, the headline is more appropriate than anticipated.

An engagement with editor Jon Oliver had produced the assessment that my novel-in-progress is in good shape, although not quite suitable as an entry point for new readers of Anye Universe material. The work needed, he said, a prologue.

Author/Editor Joan Dempsey advises against backstory-laden first chapters, but I thought to give it a try. Six-thousand-plus words and five different approaches later, I think Joan’s recommendation is the one I’ll go with. It was not a waste of time — usable material was developed, but it won’t go into a prologue.

For those interested in process, here’s the second-to-last draft. The last one contains text I’ll fold into the book.

Have you ever struggled with a first chapter? Tell me about it in the comments.

The first 3 chapters are free! Act 1 is complete and edited. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for readers, so jump on out there!

In 1928 South Dakota, a retired country physician is made privy to Earth’s secret history and much, much more. There’s life on other planets, a family he didn’t know about, he’s getting younger, not older. Eighty-three years old, made stoic in attendance to the suffering of others, Doctor Elbert Holland Harrison thought he was waiting to die.

Now he’s waiting to live.

Elbert is a story about relationships, self-discovery, and the necessity of facing the future with courage and compassion.

I’m still considering the option of advance publishing Elbert on Kindle Vella. Now, after four editing passes over part one, the master arc is firmly defined, so it’s not much of a risk delivery-wise … but, the question arises as to whether it’s good enough that I won’t be embarrassed for having done it. Also, I can’t tell if I have a hook in the opening act.

What say ye – would you spend another 8 cents to read the second chapter?

Part 1 – Chapter 1

August 16, 1928 — The Lazy L Ranch, South Dakota

“Well, ain’t you a furry bunch of critters.” The trail guide, a human citizen of Jivada, shook hands all around, the picture-perfect American cowboy in chaps and Colt Peacemaker — expert at rounding up Anye tourists or whatever. “Now, in these parts, the natives might call you Sasquatch, Bigfoot or Wendigo — ‘cause they’ve seen you plenty, but don’t know what you are.”

Watching from the front porch of the lodge, nursing her first cup of coffee, Francine anticipated the punchline. And they’re not going to find out today, are they?

Those who’ve been reading these posts possibly know I have a SciFi novel in progress, about a country doctor in 1928 South Dakota who, among other things, meets a furry lady from another planet. You may also know that Amazon’s entry into the episodic fiction delivery business, Kindle Vella, is about to debut. Think ‘Radish’, with mega market penetration, or at least that’s what we’re given to believe.

Elbert, at 94,000 words, the ending yet to be written, might be good candidate to throw into the melee IF I can edit the first few chapters into ‘That’s right, folks … don’t touch that dial’ territory. I’m not worried about the rest of the book … there’s plenty of stuff going on after the first 30 pages, but I’m now on the 4th rewrite of the opening sonata and it’s getting hard for me to tell how I’m doing with it.

So, I show my wife version #3, and she says, “You need pirates swinging cutlasses” and I say, “It’s not that kind of story”, but I agree the book deserves something better than what I’ve written so far.

Yesterday, my brother said I need to smack the reader in the face with the core concept, right out of the gate, and I said, “That calls for a data dump, a cardinal sin that will get my tail roasted in author circles.”

But I’m going to try it anyway, on you. Call to action here – after reading Chapter 1, will you spend the tokens to get a look at Chapter 2? I would be grateful if, having taken the time to read these words, you’ll invest a little more to leave a comment. Here we go …