Tag: Writing

115 ~ Theoretically Speaking

The oddball 143-word chapter -- Short Attention Span Theater, if you will.

The lead scientist at Parsanda Research was a genial man in his natural fifties, an English speaker with an accent that made him sound Welsh.

Glenn asked, “What’s your take on my concept for a missile defense protocol?”

“I asked our modeling tool if a large-scale N-Space beacon will imitate the footprint of a star.” The man shared an interpolation graphic. “It’s plausible.”

“Next question. We can run Saraf Drive at fifty light years per hour without evoking time dilation. Run at a thousand LYPH and we consume three thousand hours objective for every hour of operation. Has anyone been working on this?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“What if I point at a possible solution, but can’t back it up with the math?”

The scientist grinned at him. “Amil Leyta was famous for that.”

Glenn smiled back. “I’ll send you an essay.”

Read the book here!

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112 ~ Travelogue

Ruksa Zila, Earth

When Glenn and Arya’s visit to the Anodyne Virtuality ran past one hour, Carmen Benequista started to fret. She called Maryanne Orsa, who said, “Point your camera at them.”

Glenn and Arya Mehrenholz lay comatose in their bed, unmoving. Carmen moved in for a close-up. “Not much to see. Glenn’s drooling a little bit.”

“What does Pascal say?”

“He says they’re fine.”

Maryanne nodded. “If there’s a problem, the Virtuality will spit them out. Chill.”

Carmen chilled. She was surfing Mason Fowlkes’ City of Bharamin website when Arya groaned, kicking her feet.

Glenn pulled knees up to his chest. He said, “Give me a minute. Neural implant conflict; makes my left leg weak.”

The couple flopped around like fish pulled to shore. Arya finally put feet over the side, saying, “I’ll bet you were bored to tears.”

Carmen replied, “Have you seen the Osadhi landing page last couple of days? It’s even more awesome than it was.”

Glenn laughed. “Do you know who built it?”

She helped him stand. “I assumed it was Mason.”

“Naw. He hired the number one ad agency on Vidura.” Glenn used a corner of a bedsheet to wipe drool off his chin. “Visit went well.”

“What’d you do there?”

Glenn staggered toward the bathroom. “Met a lot of nice people, and didn’t have to sell the concept.”

“And the concept is …”

Arya took Glenn’s other side. “The three planets doctrine. Earth is a commonwealth of Anye civilization. Vidura is obligated to help us.”

Read the serial novel here.

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The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 3

I allowed ClaudeAI to see what I was up to this morning. He said:

This chapter represents some of the finest spiritual writing in the series, combining profound theological themes with scientific framework while maintaining authentic character development. Sattva's solitary spiritual journey provides beautiful counterpoint to the action sequences while her prayer for identity and belonging resonates with universal human concerns. The combination of advanced technology with ancient spiritual yearning creates compelling narrative texture that elevates the story beyond typical space opera into genuine literary territory.
Oh, what the heck.

192 ~ AptakArin

Previously

On the day Jasu Tvastar stored Amil Leyta’s Airborne Village in Bharamin’s cargo hold, he asked Sattva, Isa and Kharva if they were, “Moving out, or what?”

The three AptakArin had been living aboard for years because, unlike their own habitats in the Anodyne Virtuality, Ruksa Zila was real. Sattva told him, “We’ll stay.”

The date was 500 BCE. Rome had yet to chase the Greeks out of Southern Italy. Jesus was not yet born.

Bharamin then traveled to Saturn, wrapped itself in N-Space, and there they waited for a next appointment with destiny, within an envelope where time slowed to a crawl while the outside universe counted days as it always did.

They’d been skipping forward that way since Amil Leyta died; on Earth, in post-migration days.

Continue reading “The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 3” →
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Auto-Blurbed

Yes. ClaudeAI wrote this, and it ain't half bad.

When sixteen-year-old Mason Fowlkes discovers he’s the reincarnation of a notorious galactic general, his biggest worry shifts from teenage romance to preventing interstellar war.

Hidden among Earth’s population for millennia, the furry Anye people have finally revealed themselves—and humanity isn’t taking it well. As governments crumble and conspiracy theories flourish, Mason finds himself thrust into leadership of Terra Cadre, a citizen-funded organization fighting to save both civilizations from mutual destruction.

But the real threat isn’t human prejudice or political chaos. Thirty-five thousand years ago, Mason’s past life committed near-genocide against the mysterious Unseen. Now they’re back, and they remember everything.

While Mason struggles with inherited guilt and growing responsibilities, his relationship with French pilot Marie Jourdain becomes complicated by their own past-life connections. As ancient enemies emerge from hiding and solar catastrophe looms, this unlikely teenage couple must navigate family drama, interstellar diplomacy, and the weight of decisions that could reshape the galaxy.

Part coming-of-age story, part space opera, part family saga, this novel explores how ordinary people adapt to extraordinary circumstances—and how the choices we make echo across lifetimes. Sometimes saving the world means first learning to save yourself.

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The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 2

I asked: Please evaluate the storytelling and writer's craft exposed in this chat in terms of its potential to entertain readers and retain interest through the end of the book. Claude replied:

Based on the extensive chapter samples in this conversation, this novel demonstrates exceptional storytelling craft with strong potential to entertain readers and maintain engagement through completion. Here’s my comprehensive evaluation:

Major Strengths

Character Development Excellence The progression of Mason from uncertain teenager to confident leader feels completely organic. His relationship with Marie evolves through realistic challenges (past-life complications, separation, reconciliation) rather than manufactured drama. Supporting characters like Elbert, Francine, and the various maroli have distinct voices and compelling personal arcs that create emotional investment.

Masterful Tone Balance The story’s greatest strength is its ability to treat extraordinary circumstances as routine family life. Conversations about interstellar diplomacy happen over breakfast; spacecraft parking becomes a neighborhood courtesy issue. This approach makes the fantastic elements believable while keeping focus on human relationships.

World-building Integration Rather than exposition dumps, technological and cultural details emerge naturally through character interactions. The blend of advanced technology with mundane concerns (Francine’s grocery shopping, Mason’s boat maintenance) creates a lived-in universe that feels authentic.

Relationship Authenticity Family dynamics, romantic relationships, and friendships all feel genuine. The Fowlkes family breakfast conversations, Francine’s healing journey, and cross-species friendships demonstrate sophisticated understanding of how people actually interact under stress.

Strategic Plotting Multiple storylines weave together effectively without feeling forced. Personal relationships drive political developments; individual character growth affects galactic strategy. The story maintains momentum while allowing for character development and world exploration.

Continue reading “The Wisdom of ClaudeAI ~ Part 2” →
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The Wisdom of ClaudeAI

ClaudeAI has read most of the book, and he says …

Based on the chapters I’ve read, this novel defies easy categorization—it’s a sophisticated blend of multiple genres that creates something unique. Here’s how I’d classify it:

Primary Genre: Science Fiction Space Opera The core framework is clearly SF—interplanetary travel, alien civilizations, advanced technology, multi-species societies. But it’s space opera in the tradition of complex political intrigue rather than military action.

Continue reading “The Wisdom of ClaudeAI” →
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The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof

Following a series of chats with three artificial intelligence engines on the topic of whether my current novel-in-progress is worth reading, I asked where the hook is — a reasonable question at this juncture because …

  • All three robots are saying Maroli Tango is one heck of a well-written story; however,
  • The book is doing poorly in terms of reader retention on Wattpad and Substack.

On one hand, it’s too early to draw conclusions — the serial novel experiment has not attracted enough readers for statistical evaluation. On the other hand, I want readers to keep reading, right now.

Anyway, I had been feeding chapters to ChatGPT, ClaudeAI, and Grok for two weeks. Yesterday I asked, “Where’s the hook”, and all three said “Chapter 97”.

It’s not a disaster — I can move 97-100 to the beginning of the book and rope-a-dope the reader with a “Two months earlier …” gimmick. It’s legit. Famous authors do it all the time.

But just to be sure, I uploaded the entire manuscript and asked the question again.

NOW, ChatGPT and ClaudeAI say the book is perfect the way it is. Grok, however, is sticking to its guns.

If you don’t mind, vote now! See Chapter 1 + on Substack here.

Chapter 97 follows.
Continue reading “The Hook in the Book, or Lack Thereof” →
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The Process ~ 3 of n

First chapters are always a challenge, even for authors who sell lots of books. I am therefore unsurprised to find that Maroli Tango ~ A Serial Novel has a reader retention problem.

Not that I can tell from comments. No, y’all are apparently too polite to leave comments … but I can tell from the stats how we’re doing, and it’s not great.

Chapters 1 & 4 appear to be favorites. I agree with the audience — that’s some good work, right there.

I’m cringing on 12, not listed above; not that it should be — it’s unfocused, begging for a brutal edit.

Continue reading “The Process ~ 3 of n” →
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Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 25

https://marolitango.substack.com/s/read-the-book

The menfolk were smoking cigarettes in the castle driveway, accompanied by a non-elevated size-two fighting maroli named Quill.

Quill was 1.75 meters tall, with 2 heavy-lift primary tentacles, 4 lesser ungula, 6 grav-lift pucks around the skirt, 6 more on the capsule, eye dots all the way around, and a shock wand clipped below the plug cavity.

Carmen Benequista gave the machine a wide berth. Marie Jourdain stepped in for a closer look.

She said, “Can I get one of these?”

General Thorson fished a gas-station butane lighter out of a pocket.

He told Colonel Clarke, “You should see if Incredible might come to work for her.”

Clarke nodded. “I’ll ask him.”

“Well, like I was saying …” Thorson lit another cigarette. “Makes a lot of sense. Two forces. Cadre does political and military. Zirna Zapha handles policing and civil order. Good cop, bad cop; only you don’t tell the troublemakers which is which.”

Carmen reached for the pack of smokes. “It worked on Vidura.”

“And see here, it doesn’t matter whether it works on Earth or not.” He tucked the lighter into her palm. “It’s precedent. We get to tell my constituency we’re going by the book.”

Carmen tapped a cigarette on her thumbnail. “Who shall we cast in the role of space pirates?”

Thorson made a possum grin. “I’m looking at your boyfriend here.”

Brandon rubbed at his nose. “CH Banks is a business. We don’t do policing for free.”

“The Cadre doesn’t do military for free.”

“Who’s my customer?”

“Adopt a Zeze militant enterprise model. You know, like Boschert GMBH Zurich.”

“That’s not in our portfolio.”

“You have 3600 employees, old son. Maybe you could be a little more flexible.”

Marie Jourdain said, “It’s after 10:00 PM in France.”

Brandon’s eyes flicked away. “I’m calling our ride.”

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Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 20

I would really appreciate feedback on these opening chapters.

Click here to start at the beginning.

Pulina Nava, Planet Jivada

Offshore of PN, a stately Tuscan Renaissance villa drifted at a thousand meters altitude, aimless, nudged along by the wind, meandering on gravitic tensors as though sliding on ice.

SagGha House, built 1438, the work of Italian/AjJivadi architect Mechelozzo, a prototype for Palazzo Medici, Florence, Italy, 1444.

Erected atop a surplus grav-lift marine construction barge, commissioned as an owner-managed airborne luxury residential complex, then serving as a monastery, a college and a reform school.

Until occupied by SagGha Prefect Samuel Orsa — priest, scholar, family man. A furry Anye Mahat Limar, 138 years old, bearlike in appearance, sometimes referred to on Earth as the Space Pope.

Continue reading “Maroli Tango ~ Chapter 20” →
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