Tag: Writing

Readier to Read!

Elbert — Act 1: Earth’s Secret History (Second Edition) is live on Kindle Vella!

In 1928 South Dakota, a rural physician learns about life on other planets, and a bounty of opportunities available to those who know. Eighty-three years old, Doctor Elbert Holland Harrison thought he was waiting to die. Now he’s waiting to live.

Elbert is a story about relationships, self-discovery, and the necessity of facing the future with courage and compassion.

On the advice of editor Jon Oliver, I added a new first chapter. Potential confusion about a variety of Anye Universe concepts has been mitigated.

The complete novel is in edit at 94,000 words. I expect to publish before year end, but you can read Act 1 on Kindle Vella for free, simply by signing up for the service and accepting a starter kit of 200 tokens.

You don’t have to be a fan of SciFi — I’m doing something out-of-the-ordinary, and this book in particular should be satisfying for readers of every genre.

I’ll be grateful if you give it a try, and doubly so if you leave a review.

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Must Entertainment Be Shallow To Succeed?

Harkening back to a previous post, I’m still thinking about ‘The OA’ and wondering — if the creative team hadn’t overplayed the suspense card, would the show have made its audience numbers?

I returned to watch the Season One finale. It kept my attention for the full forty-three minutes, and I became mighty curious to understand the problem.

Rotten Tomatoes gave Season One a 77% critic score (66 reviews) and 78% audience score (2379 ratings). Season Two did better, but Netflix reportedly decided to cancel while it was still shooting.

Continue reading “Must Entertainment Be Shallow To Succeed?” →
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Edited unto morbidity

When I posted this essay a few days ago, I thought I was done editing this chapter — that I’d be showing off what came of it and move on. Today, on December 20, 2021, after thirty-plus revisions over four different approaches, the headline is more appropriate than anticipated.

An engagement with editor Jon Oliver had produced the assessment that my novel-in-progress is in good shape, although not quite suitable as an entry point for new readers of Anye Universe material. The work needed, he said, a prologue.

Author/Editor Joan Dempsey advises against backstory-laden first chapters, but I thought to give it a try. Six-thousand-plus words and five different approaches later, I think Joan’s recommendation is the one I’ll go with. It was not a waste of time — usable material was developed, but it won’t go into a prologue.

For those interested in process, here’s the second-to-last draft. The last one contains text I’ll fold into the book.

Have you ever struggled with a first chapter? Tell me about it in the comments.
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Double-Played

What author hasn’t imagined seeing his novel played out on the big screen? I certainly did, and if you’ve been following this blog you know I took at stab at writing a film adaptation of my novel Silken Thread.

I paid a fee for script coverage, during which I learned it’s harder than it looks. And then, lesson in hand, I took another crack at it, which you can see on the Script Revolution website by the artful use of your mouse pointer (slightly left, please).

I’m done trying that – but what the heck, might as well put it out there. To say I’m satisfied with the second draft is a stretch, but it was an enlightening story structure exercise. To wit – it made me focus on the elements of storytelling and the value of the three-act form.

But I find that screenwriting is a) heavier on craft than expression and, b) focused on selling an idea to other artists, after which art may or may not be forthcoming. I might persist if I was looking for a job, which I’m not.

All that said, the effort might conceivably influence my approach during the editing process.

Are you a novelist? How much effort do you put into concepts like ‘beats’ and story models when you’re writing?

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Played out — John Dyer Writes

Earlier this year, I submitted my first-ever attempt at writing a screenplay to a smallish indie filmmaker, arranged through a service provided by Stage32. A producer had issued a call for coming-of-age stories, and my novel Silken Thread kind of fits. In 1960s Manila, an American teenager courts a CIA officer several years his senior. Novel here, screenplay here, if you’re curious.

Spoiler alert — I was not offered a movie deal.

I was told I’d written a novel but not a screenplay. Also …

  • The story is missing the exciting parts of the protagonist’s life until the last 20 pages (during which the hero almost dies).
  • The narrative structure should adhere to the three-act form.
  • The author should pay attention to story beats.
  • There’s not enough drama.
  • The author should ask the question, “Why would anyone want to watch this?”
  • The hero David Aarens is a person who never says ‘no’ to the challenges in his life.
  • The document layout does not “look like a professional screenplay” and I should use Final Draft as an authoring tool.
Continue reading “Played out — John Dyer Writes” →
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Screenplayed

I just finished a screen adaptation of my novel Silken Thread. 20,561 words, 118 pages.

Logline – In 1967 Manila, a Chinese-speaking Dutch-American teenager courts a CIA officer ten years his senior.

Here’s another sample.

The morning after.

23. INT. AARENS RESIDENCE FORBES PARK

The next morning. David sets a two-suit travel bag by the front door; he’s apprehended by Mrs. Li.

MRS. LI

Hushed voice; speaks <Mandarin>.

<Where you going so early?>

DAVID

<I’m meeting someone before work. Are my parents up?>

MRS. LI

She pinches him on the ear.

<There’s a girl, and don’t tell me there isn’t.>

DAVID

Clasps her hand in both of his.

<Maybe she lost interest already. I have to find out.>

MRS. LI

<Da Wei; she will break your heart, and so will the people who give you this job. Just like in China; this is how you have a refugee living in your house.>

DAVID

<Ma Li; their broken promises gave me you.>

MRS. LI

<Oh, you going that way, are you? You better not forget who raise you when I get too old to take care of myself.>

Kisses David on the cheek.

<Make sure she love you, then bring around to meet me.>

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Screenplaying

A call for coming-of-age submissions on Stage32 motivated me to at least start on a screen adaptation of my novel Silken Thread. Here’s a trial opening scene formatted in a style emulating James Cameron’s script for the movie Aliens.

Fade In:

  • 1. INT. BREAKFAST IN THE AARENS HOME

Forbes Park subdivision, Metro Manila, July 1967. A spacious living/dining area with Danish Modern and Asian furnishings, high ceilings opening onto a lanai and garden. We meet a Dutch/American family of 3 served by a middle-aged Chinese woman. The teenage son arrives late, sits at the table.

DAVID AARENS

“Mom, Pop, Lao Ma.”

David addresses Mrs. Li in <Mandarin>.

<How are you this morning?>

MRS. LI

<Your father heard you come in late.>

She rolls eyes, pours tea.

DAVID

<Ouch. I thought I was being quiet.>

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Post-Vellum Euphoria

My novel Elbert was at 96,000 words, final chapters unsettled, manuscript no longer consistent with the outline. So, I went back to the beginning — in the expectation that a better understanding of where I started would suggest how the story should end.

After four laborious rewrites of the book’s opening act, the text was hitting 100,000 words, a surprise since I thought I was streamlining it. The good news — I know what I’m dealing with. Yesterday, I wrote:

“Elbert is a story about relationships, self-discovery, and the necessity of facing the future with courage and compassion.”
Continue reading “Post-Vellum Euphoria” →
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